Everyday we engage in the relentless pursuit of being the modern gentleman. The pressure to attain this is also multiplied a million times over in todays world where we are heaped with scrutiny in every moment of our daily lives. It is said in the last ten years the number of male grooming brands has quadrupled on which middle aged men spend the equivalent of almost a days wage every month on their grooming regime. For the modern gentleman dressing well today has less of a peacocking aspect, and more showing respect for others whilst developing your own unique sense of style.
The practical options for the modern man, whether it’s launching a new business venture, sampling new cuisines or selecting one of an array of moisturisers, are wider than ever before. But the core ingredients of being a modern gentleman, consideration, respect and self-assured confidence have arguably not changed for over 2,000 years. In conjunction with MINI Clubman and The School of Life, the expert advice of six industry leaders in their sector give us the key factors that define simply “what makes a modern gentleman in 2015?’
GROOMING
With the help of Lee Kynaston, described as one of the UK’s most experienced male grooming experts having spent eight years with Mens Health as grooming editor, he gives us his thoughts and rules to follow to make sure you are always looking tip top. The way men look after their appearance has changed so much over the years, where once a moisturiser might have been thought of as outre, it is now a staple part of every mans grooming regime. The long term aim is to use that confidence that comes with looking good so that you feel completely at home in your own skin.
RULE 1: BE WELL GROOMED, NOT OVER-PREENED
“Good grooming is like a magic trick: people should be impressed by the results, but in the dark about how you achieved them. Overdo the fragrance, teeth whiting or eyebrow taming and you just show the world your slight of hand”.
RULE 2: CREATE YOUR OWN RITUAL
“Many cultures (from the ancient Greeks and Jews to the modern Japanese and Scandinavians) practise bathing as a ritual. Hot water is relaxing, yet invigorating like little else – that’s why some of our best thoughts can come to us in the shower. But take the time out from here on in to really ‘be’ in the shower, to quell the monkey mind and to really feel the water on your skin and the scent of the products you use. It’s not just the female of the species that’s worth it.
BUSINESS AND ENTREPRENEURIALISM
John-Paul Flintoff: writer, performer, and coach has very kindly agreed to share his insight on what it means to be an entrepreneur in 2015. After his impressive 15 year writing career with The Financial Times and The Sunday Times, John-Paul has since published books worldwide in some 14 languages. As you’ll hear over and over again, it has everything to do with attitude and work ethic. The modern entrepreneur doesn’t have to be wealthy, famous, or particularly prone to taking huge risks. The modern entrepreneur is in the business of providing solutions. Having identified an opportunity, the entrepreneur sets aside their fear of failure, identifies solutions, and uses set-backs and objections positively and constructively to modify their solution accordingly. And lastly, it’s important for a modern entrepreneur to share their solution with others. Essentially, the entrepreneur exists to improve the lives of others, and must do so by sharing their solution with as many people as possible. As we all know so well, in this digital age sharing is easier than ever, and sharing = profit.
RULE 1: EMBRACE RISK
“What sorts the men from the boys is how far they embrace risk and the inevitable brushes with failure that risk entails. Problems and pains are your best feedback when it comes to refining and improving your ideas. Pinpoint something in your recent past that went wrong. A relationship? A conversation? A work project? What you learn will mean that whatever the short-term verdict, the risk you embraced will pay off in the long run.”
RULE 2: STAY AGILE
“Thinking like an entrepreneur requires not holding on stubbornly when circumstances change. Agility means choosing the things in your life (from our skills and mindset to bags and cars) for their adaptability and agility as well.”
RULE 3: TAKE A MOMENT
“Sometimes, to move forward, you just need to stop. Modern life is so busy we forget to think, but time is often the best brain food. You need it to keep evolving, innovating and improving, and the most successful people in the world are the ones who find a way to fit solitary thinking into their day. Have thirty minutes of time out per day.”
FASHION
The world of fashion can often be overwhelming. It’s dynamic and fast paced, and the never ending race to create new looks and leave many of us feeling out of touch fairly quickly. Samantha Clarke is a therapist and brand educator, and currently runs a class on “Dressing Well” at The School of Life, and works daily to educate people about the importance of clothing and confidence. Samantha believes that “confidence in your ‘own look’ is essential in a crowded and busy world: it implies efficiency but without any loss of grace”. Having your own authentic style is a powerful attribute indeed, and as Mark Twain once remarked: ‘Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.’
RULE 1: COMBINE STYLE WITH SUSTAINABILITY
“You’ve heard before that finding timeless classics is important – even if it’s a bit more expensive. This is true, but remember that doesn’t just have to do with money but also patience, thoughtfulness and ethics. Classic fashion means shopping consciously. Take the time to concentrate on timeless materials, fit and construction that are in harmony with your body and mind.”
RULE 2: CONSTRUCT A WARDROBE MANIFESTO
“Your wardrobe should reflect a style that truly reflects you, so continuously detox items and clutter that do not serve you. Once you’ve written your manifesto, purge a section of your wardrobe ruthlessly. Think of it as a wardrobe workout, and lose the flab.”
RULE 3: STAND OUT AS A STYLE LEADER
“At its best, your style should be instinctive. The designs and brands you choose are a message to others about who you are and what you value. When you know your style and shun the trendy fluctuations, you stand out as a leader. So go with your gut instinct, don’t self-censor. Eccentric quirkiness is a great British tradition.”
HEALTH AND WELLBEING
David Waters, a men’s lifestyle journalist for UK and international newspapers and magazines, argues that a healthy body and healthy mind are often one in the same, or at the very least go hand in hand. Many men nowadays appreciate the close relationship between a healthy body and a healthy mind and how you treat one undoubtedly affects the other. Some even go so far as to argue that exercise is the new religion. This may be a tad exaggerated, but it does highlight the importance of physical fitness and the role it plays in your life as a whole.
RULE 1: PRACTICE YOUR OWN SPORTS PSYCHOLOGY
“Playing sport doesn’t just build muscle and lung capacity. It helps you to refine your ability to strategise and practise collaboration and fair play. By observing your knee-jerk emotions and choosing to respond rather than react, you can change your behaviour on and off the field, court or mat.”
RULE 2: KEEP MOVING
“It seems odd that we often stand on the escalator on the way to a gym class. Exercise begins the moment you get up in the morning. The ‘active living’ movement helps us to understand this. Man was never meant to be sedentary. Walking up the stairs, washing the car, and having sex can all increase our fitness without a sweaty gym bag in sight.”
FOOD AND DRINK
The days of eating for sustenance are long gone. Gentlemen today are expected to enjoy and be enthused by their food, not when eating, but when cooking. Jenny Linford is perhaps the only person qualified enough to advise us on the rules of a modern gentleman’s attitude towards food. As a freelance food writer, member of the Guild of Food Writers, and author of fifteen books on food and drink, Jenny is the authority on the fast-changing and innovative world of food fashions, and teaches us how to embrace new culinary experiences with effortless sophistication.
RULE 1: MAKE MEALS A COMMUNAL AFFAIR
“The philosopher Epicurus refused to eat any meal unless he had friends around to share it. Indeed, the word ‘companionship’ comes from the two words ‘com’ (with) and ‘pain’ (bread). Too many of us eat alone, and by doing so we take away one of the greatest aspects of mealtimes. Sharing food with good company and taking time to relish it is one of life’s simple but profound pleasures.”
RULE 2: LEARN A SIGNATURE DISH
“Many of the best restaurants don’t have lengthy menus because they recognise the value in perfecting a small range of dishes. Great chefs understand the satisfaction of working on a signature dish, tweaking it until it reaches perfection. Choose a dish that you can experiment with in the kitchen and enjoy ‘perfecting’ it.”
RULE 3: MAKE DINING INTERESTING
“For many of us, our busy lives mean that we have fewer and fewer opportunities to engage in creative pursuits. Make dining interesting. Drive to new places, go a little further afield. Cultivate an open-minded, adventurous approach to eating and drinking, and dine out differently once a fortnight. The world is your oyster/razor clam/cockle.”
TRAVEL AND LEISURE
David Baker, who teaches “How to Balance Work with Life” and “How to Travel” at The School of Life has had his work appear in numerous publications globally, and is now schooling us on the art of Travel and Leisure. David tells us to rethink of our ‘time off’ as ‘time on’, and make the most of our leisure. The modern gentleman doesn’t immerse himself in other projects which soon become a second job, he weaves exploration into the fabric of his everyday life, every day venturing further from his comfort zone in his own subtle but thrilling way. The modern gentleman consistently seeks out new ways to feel alive, no matter how small.
RULE 1: NEVER STOP LEARNING
“Make a list of things you’d never think of doing. It might be learning to tango, trying wild swimming or something simple like going to the cinema on your own. Try one out one weekend. Cut loose from the invisible chains of habits, and break out of your comfort zone.
• Go somewhere new in your local area
• Go on holiday, but don’t have a plan other than to explore
• Change your route to work”
RULE 2: BROADEN YOUR DEFINITION OF CULTURE
“While museums, theatre and art-house cinemas offer cultural enrichment, there are plenty more options. Ask a friend from a different culture to teach you how to cook a traditional dish, research online and go to a lecture or explore a new musical genre.”
RULE 3: STOP TAKING PICTURES AND LEARN TO DRAW
“Smartphones can make us spectators in our own lives, never truly immersed in the moment. If you want a picture to remember things by, put your phone down and create one later from your own efforts. (You don’t have to hang it on the wall.)”
So what does it really mean to be a gentleman in 2015? It isn’t any one or even all of these rules. It’s easy to follow rules, especially in our increasingly digital world full of trends and pressure to walk, talk, and act a certain way, but perhaps the most valuable commodity a gentleman can have is his identity. In the words of the late Steve Jobs; “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
Visit The School of Life website at www.theschooloflife.co.uk/mini and the MINI website itself at www.mini.co.uk
